Feb 6, 2013

I'm starting a church!

I have a serious confession- I love rap music. No, really. LOVE it. But not your typical rap music- I have this strange obsession with rappers who are actually really intelligent. For instance, Childish Gambino kind of melts my whole heart. That's Donald Glover's rap project- Donald Glover is also a stand up comedian, a former writer for 30 Rock, and an actor (have you seen Community?!). Let me tell you- that boy is smart and talented.

Well, have you seen the Watsky "white kid raps fast" video on Youtube? Fun fact- Watsky also does POETRY SLAMS! which are incredible even though I was a bit skeptical at first. The video below is called "Drunk Text Messages To God" and it's about what his religion would be like if he started his own church.

So, in honor of Watsky, I'm starting my own hypothetical "religion". I think I'm going to call it the Church of Destiny. I know. It's not very creative. But thats ok because...

At my church we believe in bubble baths,
hot showers.
We never stop at one glass of wine
when we could go straight for two.
At my church, we do pasta for 3 meals a day
We never worry about getting fat
Or if our jeans are going to fit the next day.
At my church, we encourage people to take the plunge
We revel in fear
We do the things that scare us the most
At my church, we are crazy with two crays!
We believe we have no restraints.
That we can tackle every situation that is thrown at us.
We have faith in ourselves.
We skip winter
Fall and Spring
And live in an endless summer
We do days at the lake,
sunbathing, jet skis.
We encourage traveling and traveling alot.
We have gypsy spirits
That get restless and wonder
But thats okay, because life is an adventure and you only live once.
At MY church, services are midday
We can go to bed early
and sleep in late
At my church, our hymnals are filled with showtunes.
The choir sings accapella mashups
and I always get the rap parts.
Our pews are covered in chevron throw pillows.
Our choir robes are covered in sequins
and we believe that the Good Lord likes things that sparkle.
We only have one commandment
and that is the golden rule.
At my church we dont turn you away
because you are different, or think different.
We encourage you to express yourself and embrace being exactly who you are
We believe in debating,
in remaining respectful,
and in embracing viewpoints that differ from your own.
At my church
we focus on the good in the world
We look for things to love in every person we meet.
We drink Pepsi and hot Cheetos for communion.
We read sci-fi and fantasy for our sermons
and we talk about our adventures as our testimonies.
In the words of Watsky- "I'm not Jesus Christ .... but I can turn water into koolaid!"
What would your church be like?


Staci said...

Preach on, preacher lady! I am signing up for your church ASAP. Except I'll need Coke, not Pepsi. Every church needs a little drama, right?

Lindsey said...

I like where your head is at...Where is the sign-up form? And can I have A&W instead of Pepsi or Coke? Please and thank you!

You had at me a capella mashups.

julia rose. said...

" At my church we dont turn you away
because you are different, or think different.
We encourage you to express yourself and embrace being exactly who you are"

Jamie said...

Love it!