I'm starting a church!

I have a serious confession- I love rap music. No, really. LOVE it. But not your typical rap music- I have this strange obsession with rappers who are actually really intelligent. For instance, Childish Gambino kind of melts my whole heart. That's Donald Glover's rap project- Donald Glover is also a stand up comedian, a former writer for 30 Rock, and an actor (have you seen Community?!). Let me tell you- that boy is smart and talented.

Well, have you seen the Watsky "white kid raps fast" video on Youtube? Fun fact- Watsky also does POETRY SLAMS! which are incredible even though I was a bit skeptical at first. The video below is called "Drunk Text Messages To God" and it's about what his religion would be like if he started his own church.

 

So, in honor of Watsky, I'm starting my own hypothetical "religion". I think I'm going to call it the Church of Destiny. I know. It's not very creative. But thats ok because...

At my church we believe in bubble baths,

hot showers.

We never stop at one glass of wine

when we could go straight for two.

 

At my church, we do pasta for 3 meals a day

We never worry about getting fat

Or if our jeans are going to fit the next day.

 

At my church, we encourage people to take the plunge

We revel in fear

We do the things that scare us the most

 

At my church, we are crazy with two crays!

 

We believe we have no restraints.

That we can tackle every situation that is thrown at us.

We have faith in ourselves.

 

We skip winter

Fall and Spring

And live in an endless summer

 

We do days at the lake,

sunbathing, jet skis.

We encourage traveling and traveling alot.

 

We have gypsy spirits

That get restless and wonder

But thats okay, because life is an adventure and you only live once.

 

At MY church, services are midday

We can go to bed early

and sleep in late

 

At my church, our hymnals are filled with showtunes.

The choir sings accapella mashups

and I always get the rap parts.

 

Our pews are covered in chevron throw pillows.

Our choir robes are covered in sequins

and we believe that the Good Lord likes things that sparkle.

 

We only have one commandment

and that is the golden rule.

 

At my church we dont turn you away

because you are different, or think different.

We encourage you to express yourself and embrace being exactly who you are

 

We believe in debating,

in remaining respectful,

and in embracing viewpoints that differ from your own.

 

At my church

we focus on the good in the world

We look for things to love in every person we meet.

 

We drink Pepsi and hot Cheetos for communion.

We read sci-fi and fantasy for our sermons

and we talk about our adventures as our testimonies.

 

In the words of Watsky- "I'm not Jesus Christ .... but I can turn water into koolaid!"

 

 

What would your church be like?