Jan 8, 2013

Just Because I'm An Introvert...

Another day without my straightener! People keep asking what is wrong with my hair!

Listen, guys! Blogging is hard work- that's what I'm coming to find! But it's also really fun and creative and I basically am obsessed with it. A huge part of blogging, I think, is NETWORKING. I'm constantly trying to read new blogs, join groups, comment and post anywhere and everywhere hoping people will like what I have to say and want to read my blog (but also to support other bloggers because I know how exciting it can be to get feedback).

I found this topic ("Just Because I'm An Introvert Doesn't Mean...") on 20sb and I kind of loved it because growing up I was always an introverted kid and I always felt like that made it really hard to relate to peers and the people around me. It gets misconstrued alot in the process of people trying to understand and that always has kind of aggitated me.

I'm introverted, I'm not "stuck up". This is the one that probably aggitated me the most as a teen. I'm not a bitch, I don't want to seem rude- I simply get stuck in my head. Let's get this straight- small talk? I kind of suck at it. It's not that I don't want to talk to you about the weather, it's just that my mind tends to drift. It's a constant daydream, always contemplating the future or feelings or emotions, it's alot. Don't get me wrong- if you say "hey", I'll say "hey" back. But after that, I just dont know where to take the conversation- unless you want to hear all about that day dream I was having where I ended up on a Broadway stage and married Ron Weasley... yeaaaah, that would have made me a popular kid. I swear I try to small talk, I have gotten better about it, but I still tend to get stuck in my thoughts.

It's not that I'm anti-social. I love going out with my friends and being around my family. It's just that from time to time, I need that veg day where I sit on the couch in my sweats, break out my notebook, write a little bit, sip a little wine (okay, let's be honest here- it's so cheap that calling it "wine" is a bit of a stretch), eat way too much junk food, and watch chick flicks alone all day. It doesn't mean I don't want to be around my friends. It's just that every once in a while, I day to clear my head and recooperate.

Over the years, it's gotten easier and I've became much more outgoing and put out the effort but it's an actual effort for me to go out and be social. Seriously, I tried to explain this to someone the other day and I'm sure they thought I was crazy- but I always have a GREAT time going out with friends once I get in that situation but getting in that situation is a challenge for me. I have to talk myself up. It's not that I'm really nervous or scared or even anxious but honestly, after a week of work, I'm tired. That couch looks pretty great and that book is basically begging me to read it (poor neglected reading list!). It takes alot of energy to go out. Especially after a 40 hour work week and school every day from 5-9.

I asked a friend once in high school (when my friends were starting to get into partying a bit more) why I never got invited to parties- don't get me wrong, I didn't even drink in high school (I wanted something to look forward to when I hit 21- silly I know) and she said "honestly, no one thinks you will go. You always say no." and around that time I really started to feel a huge disconnect from my peers. I felt like everyone had taken it personally and misunderstood my reasoning. It's not that I didn't want to hang out, but I needed a balance that I just had a hard time finding in school (8 hours a day with loud teenagers, throw in cheer/choir/band/whatever else I did after school that wasn't at home... yeah, okay, I needed the weekend to recoop mentally).

I think sometimes we have to find a right/wrong. We want to know how we should be and sometimes we have a hard time dealing with things we don't understand. I always think there is a reason for people being the way that they are- and this was mine. Without all the details though it really can be hard to understand.

We all have our little quirks, I guess. <3

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lauren danger said...

I'm an introvert too and I can SO relate to this. I have to force myself to go out with groups of people sometimes because I know if I don't I'll stop being invited. It's not that I don't enjoy people - it's just that it's exhausting for me. Most people don't understand and just think I don't really like them if I decline an invite. :-/

Hanna Scott said...

I hav a friend named Mike who is thankfully relentless - our text conversation looks a little bit like this:

"wanna go to the movies?"
"wanna come over?"
"we're getting dinner at 7 if you wanna join"
"i'm alright but thanks!"
"wanna come out with us tonight?"

hahaha but he'll never stop asking. sometimes I say yes. but it's good to have friends that understand you well enough to keep asking (but expect a no and don't feel hurt by it LOL)


Anonymous said...

I can 100% relate. I am extremely introverted. And it's tough. I think if we had the option we would not be like this. This whole "banter" thing people do, oh my gosh it baffles my mind so much, How do you come up with witty responses so quickly? I have to think for about 3 days to come up with one thing to write on twitter lol. And yes, I've been called stuck up many times in my life, just because I'm quieter and shy to approach people, or not sure how to carry on conversations. That's kind of why I like blogging, because I write better than I speak and I communicate better this way. Especially with strangers. Ahh well I'm going to go ahead and call our introvertedness extreme intelligence. Because, you know, there's got to be a valid reason to being different. And better to make an awesome reason. Lol

Anonymous said...

Your hair looks fine haha I haven't taken a straightener or anything to my hair in forever. But blogging is hard haha I never realized how much time it would consume!

After reading this I'm pretty sure I am an introvert too haha

Destiny said...

I know! I hate that, I dont want to be rude but sometimes I need time to myself!

Destiny said...

He sounds like a very good friend!

Destiny said...

I am the same way with banter! I so badly want to have a witty response and end up with nothing! Then 3 days later I'll have the perfect response!