Jan 24, 2013

Those Not So Magic Changes

photo courtesy of Meg White Photography.

Hi, bloggy friends!

I've been MIA from the blogosphere this week. I keep logging in and logging back out because I just don't want to try to put the cluster of crazed thoughts in my brain into legible words. The past few weeks have been crazy for me in so many ways- readjusting to school, adjusting to Boyfriend being away again- and I keep finding myself thinking "well, what next? Where do I go from here..." about basically every aspect of my life.

I've got so much I want to do. So many adventures I want to have and haven't for one reason or another (one main reason- money). I have so much on my list of things I want to accomplish this year and I've been getting a bit overwhelmed. How do I make it all happen? How do I achieve so much in such a short time? How do I balance school, the blog, work, and fun time? How do I get from point A to point B?

You ever feel like you want to be moving forward but you just keep taking 2 steps back? That's me this week!

This is not typical Destiny mood. Thank Goodness.

So, I've done what I always do when the world around me feels too disorganized to handled- I made a list. Yes, I know. That is absolutely crazy. But a list seems easier, more tangible- I can turn it into a step by step. For instance- within the next year I want to move to Springfield (scratch that- I HAVE to move to Springfield for school) but this is only possible if I a)get a full time job in Springfield, b)leave the job I love, c)finish my current lease, d) save up some extra "rebound" money just in case and e)find Yoda and I a new home in Springfield. Awww, see? Nice, easy, step by step.

Oh. I hate change. But I get so complacent and so comfortable, that sometimes I wonder why should I change? Why should I move forward? Why should I leave something I enjoy for something I may not like as much?

Why should I put faith in things that are "unsure"? Why should I take that leap for something that could back fire? I can't guarantee that things will work out. I can't guarantee that I will succeed in all these endeavours.

Darn those unknowns.

But you know why? Why I should do all those things?

Because I have faith.

I have faith that as great as my life is currently, there is a greater life in store for me somewhere, some time in the future. I have faith that I am capable to face every challenge that comes my way and I am capable to tackle every obstacle head on. I have faith in my abilities, my skills, myself. I have faith that even if/when things dont go my way, it's simply a gateway for bigger, better things to take form. I have faith in myself. Faith in the world around me.

And when you have faith, when you trust yourself and the world around you, amazing things happen. It's just a matter of closing my eyes (or shutting out that voice in my mind that is scared), jumping off the edge, and trusting the pieces to fall where they may because either way, I know I am able to put it all together so that it works.

I have faith that I will surpass even my own expectations for myself.

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